This blog is now closed!

Sorry, but this blog is now closed. Don't you fret though, these types of posts will certainly make an appearance on Rand-o-mania!! when I have access to Photoshop again. So, while you can still read through these posts here, they are also available now at www.rand-o-mania.blogspot.com, along with plenty of other random stuff! Thanks!

Volume 5, Issue 2

Introducing the new revolutionary 24-Hour HEALTHNUT CLOCK! Do you need little reminders to eat right? Have you found your diet slipping away? Have you been so stressed that you forget to eat? Well, The 24-Hour Healthnut Clock is your answer to all these questions, and more! The Healthnut reminds you to get all your meals in, and get them in healthy fashion as well! You'll be in tremendous shape in no time! Start your day off with a fiber bar PACKED with protein. Move on to a complete balanced breakfast. If you're REALLY a health nut you'll even force down a heavy dosage of healthy fruit to chase your breakfast. Can't you see how this system could work for you already?! At 15 o'clock you'll find a fine lunch followed by a revitalizing snack to tide you over until dinner. Your dinner-reminder's main course will give your body ALL the essential vitamins and minerals it craves. This system even allows a lite dessert! (Watch out though, it will give you extra vitamins!) And the Healthnut Clock system even reminds you to get in that late-night snack before your complete night's rest! With Healthnut there's nothing to fret over! WE GUARANTEE YOU TO SEE A CHANGE ON THE SCALE, OR YOUR CLOCK IS FREE! Call now! 1-800-HLTHNUT *We also deliver to Mexico, ask for the Spanish version: <<¡EL RELOJ LOCO PARA ADICTOS DE AZÚCAR!>>

Volume 5, Issue 1

A sign of the times.

Volume 4, Issue 4

The Target Army (or Targarmy for short) is the latest outcome of the current economic crisis. American Target stores have now lent their horde of employees to the national defense cause. Due to budget cutbacks on military spending, the United States Army has begun an intensive training program to enable the workers of the many Target stores within the United States to help in ammunitions transfer, and is even giving them basic military training. Due to the seriousness of budget cuts, this Targarmy will need to be out on the lines doing their duty within 10 weeks. Shown above is the Vallejo, California Base where Karen Johnson is shown training others on ammunition packaging while simultaneously training workers on appropriate handgun usage. The original Target in Roseville, Minnesota will act as the corps' headquarters. Johnson says, "I have NO idea why we were chosen, but I'll do my best to pack up these grenades!"

Volume 4, Issue 3

One of the unforseen ramifications of the recent economic hardships has been mergers... interesting mergers. The most recent victim of these odd combinations of retailers was clothing giant Old Navy in its recent merge with pet supply goliath, Petsmart. These two beheamoths have now joined forces to bring us PetsNavy! The world's foremost fashion and pet store! You never know what surprises you might find in your new cargo pockets! Anything from crickets to the escaped python! Men, when it comes to looking your best and giving your best friend what he needs, you'll love their new matching His and His Dog's pajamas! Ladies, don't you worry either, PetsNavy now stocks plenty of matching bracelets and collars for you and your favorite kitty! Hurry in and enjoy!

Volume 4, Issue 2

Waterbottle Man roams the nation searching for those who are less than adequately hydrated. While you may think that his goal is to hydrate, or to spread valuable information about dehydration awareness, his actual goal is to kick every person who doesn't hydrate their bodies in the shin! He may have a cheerful countenance when you first see him, but that has certainly not stopped Waterbottle Man from appearing in the nightmares of many children across the country (possibly augmented by his appearance on Scooby Doo Episode #121, "The Waterbottle that Kicks.") Waterbottle Man is always in search of his next dehydrated victim... have YOU had enough water today?

Volume 4, Issue 1

The Maher Maher Fish is found near a tropical island off the eastern shore of Africa. It is known widely as the dumbest animal on earth. The Maher Maher frequently comes from the depths in search of a shark to eat it. It is not known why such a small fish would seek out a shark, but alas, this is a very dumb fish. Due to this peculiar behavior, the Maher Maher has become nearly extinct, and it is projected to be completely wiped-out by 2010. This photograph is the only known proof of the Maher Maher's existence. Get a good look at this dummy before it's gone.

Volume 3, Issue 4

The hit Television Show, "Jeopardy" has taken it to the streets! Now they tour the country in the Jeopardy-Mobile and seek out the nation's smart people! Similar to an ice cream truck, the would-be contestants chase this car that is playing that all-too-familiar Jeopardy theme song on a loud speaker and have to yell, "What is Stop?!!!" The driver, Alex Trebek, will then roll down his window and read them the answer that appears on the windows that have been converted into high-tech window-screens. If they get the correct question, they hop in and buckle up, and off they go to be on the show. Alex drives around until he has a new pair of contestants to challenge the former show's winner. This Jeopardy-Mobile has proven to be a great success! Great thinking, Alex!

Volume 3, Issue 3

The Yakstak is a phenomenon that occurs only once every five years. It was previously thought to be a myth until 1997 when this photograph captured this incredible event. These yaks in captivity demonstrated a strange ritual performed by all yaks every fifth year of their lives. The yaks have been known to stack themselves five or even six high! Scientists have only begun studying this strange occurrence since this photograph captured these yaks performing the "Yakstak" as the Nepalese call it. They've discovered only that it occurs every five years, and that there is always a full moon the night following the Yakstak. Perhaps we'll never understand the many mysteries of nature!

Volume 3, Issue 2

Who could pass on this marvelous canteen featuring the miraculous Cesar Chavez!? Your favorite civil rights leader deserves to be shown off every time you take a swig of healthy refreshing water! Join in the fun and seek one out today! But hurry, supplies won't last long, we could only make so many because the Malcolm X people are taking over the factory. Remember what Cesar said... "You have to drink water in order to bring about your greatest dreams of freedom and happiness!" Act now!

Volume 3, Issue 1

Spray Stape Glass Cleaner is a revolutionary new office product! Voted the Most Innovative Product at the 2006 National Office Supply Convention, and recipient of the coveted "Best Pointless Product Award" at the 2007 Inventors' Gala, this stuff is sure to knock your socks off! Spray Stape has a special spray nozzle that also acts as a common office stapler. Who wouldn't want this power-packed combination of important supplies on their desk? Should you ever be in a serious bind that requires cleaning glass and stapling at the same time, you would be completely safe with Spray Stape around! I defy you to find any office product more sensible and useful than Spray Stape! Happy Spray Staping!

Volume 2, Issue 4

The newest in fencing technology now brings the savory goodness of french fries and the sturdy protection and privacy of a fence to your home! Meet THE FRENCH FENCE! This golden-brown yummy structure will keep your dogs in, keep the neighbor's annoying cat out, and fill your yard with a beautiful aroma! Your neighbors will absolutely love the new stylish appearance of your property when you install a French Fence. It will also provide all the protection you could ask for! Get your French Fence now! Only $29,999! Call 1-888-FRYFENCE Now!

Volume 2, Issue 3

The Germ Fighting Team: This is the newest in hand sanitizers, and Wow! Is this stuff amazing or WHAT?! Every time your hands get to feeling a little yucky, you just want to fight off cold-causing germs, or you just feel like some company... pour a bit of this out and watch the magic! Each time you use just a dime-sized glop of this magical sanitizer you'll be graced by the presence of the members of the Germ Fighting Team! This high-star-power crew includes vocal star Josh Groban, tough guy Mr. T, and of course the lovable Alan Greenspan. All these celebrities appear in an instant when you use this product. How can this be possible? It is actually four inch-tall clones of each of these 5 germ-fighters, right in your home! Buy the ultimate in hand sanitizers now! What are you waiting for?

Volume 2, Issue 2

Martha Falls in Kandy, Sri Lanka is a spectacular sight indeed. This 80 ft. plummeting wonder can be seen from the Tropical Random Entrepreneur Trail. Martha Stewart is said to visit this gorgeous locale at least fifteen times a year. Avid Martha fans camp out in Sri Lanka for weeks, hoping to just get a glimpse of this waterfall icon. Tour guides are supposedly former neighbors of Ms. Stewart, and have plenty of juicy tidbits for those who visit the falls.

Volume 2, Issue 1

Did you know that vikings grew on trees? Well, they do! The Viking Tree is the oldest known member of the arborvitae tree family. It originated in Sweden, but was lumbered to near extinction in that region. Thankfully, we get a fresh crop of vikings annually from the Viking Tree Orchards in Newfoundland, Canada. Viking farmers are among the bravest of all farmers, as they have to best each individual viking from their trees in a battle before the vikingfruits can be sold. It's one risky business! However, the cash returns on vikings far outweigh the risks of the trade, so we still have viking farmers! Thank heavens for them!

Volume 1, Issue 4

The Monster Horse: This offspring of an Idahoan farm has been shown at rodeos and demolition derbies from Maine to California. Her real name is Gwenivere. She had a terrible accident as a small colt, and her owners (The FargenMcHouthenburgers) were asked if they wanted to put her down. They decided to fight on and replace her now missing legs with monster truck tires! Gwen The Monster Horse has been clocked at 84 mph, and is very hard to cage. She is quite the rebellious horse. She brings joy or tears to all who behold her. She's also available for birthday parties. You may contact the FargenMcHouthenburger family at fargenmchouthenburgerfamilyfarms.com/gwen/.

Volume 1, Issue 3

Pine Lobsters are the only known variety of lobster to roam in alpine forests. Most frequently found in and around the Chilean-Argentine Andes, these vicious crustaceans eat the sap found inside the trees of southern Chile. There is anecdotal evidence of their 2000 mile journeys that they make every winter, somehow managing to return just before the summer. They've been spotted in such fancy locales as Dubai, United Arab Emirates and Bali, Indonesia! This is one crustacean you WON'T find on the menu at any restaurant. It CANNOT be killed by any known human method! It only dies when it feels like it! Don't mess!

Volume 1, Issue 2

The elusive "rabbumber" is known to roam only in the forests of West Virginia. It frequently dines on smaller rodents and has a morbid fear of McDonand's restaurants. The rabbumber is known to stop functioning after 10:30pm, and refuses to continue to handle it's late-night work schedule. It also enjoys bungee jumping. The pickled variety (Rabbumbus picklus) is particularly aggressive.

RANDOM COMBOS: Volume 1 Issue 1

Waffadactyl: The most fearsome of all flying breakfastsaurs. He's said to have been in a constant search for maple trees, and smaller breakfastsaurs like trisausagetops and Tyrannosaurus Bacon. He supposedly met his maker when a powdered-sugar-toothed tiger decided to give him a taste. This species was believed to have lived from 68 to 66 million years ago.


Volume 1, Issue 1
February 22, 2008
Random Combos, by Jeff Ricks