The Target Army (or Targarmy for short) is the latest outcome of the current economic crisis. American Target stores have now lent their horde of employees to the national defense cause. Due to budget cutbacks on military spending, the United States Army has begun an intensive training program to enable the workers of the many Target stores within the United States to help in ammunitions transfer, and is even giving them basic military training. Due to the seriousness of budget cuts, this Targarmy will need to be out on the lines doing their duty within 10 weeks. Shown above is the Vallejo, California Base where Karen Johnson is shown training others on ammunition packaging while simultaneously training workers on appropriate handgun usage. The original Target in Roseville, Minnesota will act as the corps' headquarters. Johnson says, "I have NO idea why we were chosen, but I'll do my best to pack up these grenades!"
One of the unforseen ramifications of the recent economic hardships has been mergers... interesting mergers. The most recent victim of these odd combinations of retailers was clothing giant Old Navy in its recent merge with pet supply goliath, Petsmart. These two beheamoths have now joined forces to bring us PetsNavy! The world's foremost fashion and pet store! You never know what surprises you might find in your new cargo pockets! Anything from crickets to the escaped python! Men, when it comes to looking your best and giving your best friend what he needs, you'll love their new matching His and His Dog's pajamas! Ladies, don't you worry either, PetsNavy now stocks plenty of matching bracelets and collars for you and your favorite kitty! Hurry in and enjoy!
Waterbottle Man roams the nation searching for those who are less than adequately hydrated. While you may think that his goal is to hydrate, or to spread valuable information about dehydration awareness, his actual goal is to kick every person who doesn't hydrate their bodies in the shin! He may have a cheerful countenance when you first see him, but that has certainly not stopped Waterbottle Man from appearing in the nightmares of many children across the country (possibly augmented by his appearance on Scooby Doo Episode #121, "The Waterbottle that Kicks.") Waterbottle Man is always in search of his next dehydrated victim... have YOU had enough water today?
The Maher Maher Fish is found near a tropical island off the eastern shore of Africa. It is known widely as the dumbest animal on earth. The Maher Maher frequently comes from the depths in search of a shark to eat it. It is not known why such a small fish would seek out a shark, but alas, this is a very dumb fish. Due to this peculiar behavior, the Maher Maher has become nearly extinct, and it is projected to be completely wiped-out by 2010. This photograph is the only known proof of the Maher Maher's existence. Get a good look at this dummy before it's gone.
The hit Television Show, "Jeopardy" has taken it to the streets! Now they tour the country in the Jeopardy-Mobile and seek out the nation's smart people! Similar to an ice cream truck, the would-be contestants chase this car that is playing that all-too-familiar Jeopardy theme song on a loud speaker and have to yell, "What is Stop?!!!" The driver, Alex Trebek, will then roll down his window and read them the answer that appears on the windows that have been converted into high-tech window-screens. If they get the correct question, they hop in and buckle up, and off they go to be on the show. Alex drives around until he has a new pair of contestants to challenge the former show's winner. This Jeopardy-Mobile has proven to be a great success! Great thinking, Alex!
The Yakstak is a phenomenon that occurs only once every five years. It was previously thought to be a myth until 1997 when this photograph captured this incredible event. These yaks in captivity demonstrated a strange ritual performed by all yaks every fifth year of their lives. The yaks have been known to stack themselves five or even six high! Scientists have only begun studying this strange occurrence since this photograph captured these yaks performing the "Yakstak" as the Nepalese call it. They've discovered only that it occurs every five years, and that there is always a full moon the night following the Yakstak. Perhaps we'll never understand the many mysteries of nature!
Who could pass on this marvelous canteen featuring the miraculous Cesar Chavez!? Your favorite civil rights leader deserves to be shown off every time you take a swig of healthy refreshing water! Join in the fun and seek one out today! But hurry, supplies won't last long, we could only make so many because the Malcolm X people are taking over the factory. Remember what Cesar said... "You have to drink water in order to bring about your greatest dreams of freedom and happiness!" Act now!
